I usually check Facebook hundreds of times per day. Especially at night. I lay in bed at night and catch up on news, chat with friends and lull myself to sleep with phone in hand. Last night was really, really hard. There are some other things that I will not go into detail on and I am also battling a cold, so it was pretty difficult to get to sleep, so I just laid there in the dark and listened to my daughter breathe. I laid there alone with all my thoughts, worries, stresses, fears. It was not fun. I was not comforted. I don't like it. I woke up at 3am and wanted to check Facebook. Instead I saw that I had 2 text messages, one from Alicia and one from Amanda. I read them, yes at 3am, got up to use the bathroom, and then laid back in bed stared at the ceiling and went back to all of those uncomfortable thoughts from earlier in the night. I could feel my anxiety welling back up, and again kicked myself for allowing myself to run out of Xanax 3 days early. I really have the most terrible timing. I finally did get back to sleep. When I woke up at 6am I just said "screw it" and got up. I used to laugh at my dad for getting up several times per night to smoke cigarettes. I realize now that this is much the same. Who wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks "must check Facebook!" I know I'm not the only one, but I would wager a guess that it's not something anyone would feel particularly excited or proud to admit.
After I'd been up a while I remembered that I had a dream last night I was in high school with Seth Rogen, and I DESPERATELY wanted to date him. I'm not ruling out the possibility that I'm losing my mind.
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Friday, February 6, 2015
Thursday, February 5, 2015
The First 24 Hours...
February 5, 2015
So today, almost in rebellion to myself in general, I did nothing productive except apply for a few jobs online. Other than that I just watched my kids play, watched a lot of TV, and thought about how much I miss Facebook.
Yes, I know how pathetic I sound.
So, just for kicks I did a Google search entitled "How to Survive Without Facebook." I figured I would be the only one pathetic enough to have even experienced this, let alone been brave enough to write about it, but I was SO wrong.
Not only are there hundreds (if not thousands) of articles dedicated to living without Facebook, but here is a glance of searches Google finds related to "how to survive without Facebook."
Shit has gotten real, y'all.
I initially did a search for just "how to survive" and found this neat little ditty . How to Survive the First 168 Hours After a Break-up. Fair enough. I feel like I've broken up with Facebook, albeit with the understanding that we will have a glorious reunion 59 days from now. The article says the first 24 hours is crucial. "unplug from social media" it suggests. OK. Done. What's next? From 24-48 hours you need to "Alert your Support Network." Ummm...fuck this stupid article. I'M BREAKING UP WITH MY SUPPORT NETWORK!! That article was useless and the author clearly is not down with the struggle. It's real.
All I can say at this point is that I hate this and I want to go back to Facebook SO badly. I know from previous experience, however, that going back to Facebook now is the worst thing I can do BECAUSE I want to so badly. If I had been gone for a day and hardly gave it a second thought then it would seem somehow more appropriate to head on back, but I'm very convinced at this point that I'm doing the right thing. Hopefully by the end of the 60 days I'll be more like this guy...
Unbelievably Zen Dude
In other news:
1) We're making potty training progress with EK....FINALLLLLLY
2) EK told Ben he was her best friend for the first time today
3) EK told daddy today that she was upset and wanted to "talk about it with my words." It's working! It's working!
So today, almost in rebellion to myself in general, I did nothing productive except apply for a few jobs online. Other than that I just watched my kids play, watched a lot of TV, and thought about how much I miss Facebook.
Yes, I know how pathetic I sound.
So, just for kicks I did a Google search entitled "How to Survive Without Facebook." I figured I would be the only one pathetic enough to have even experienced this, let alone been brave enough to write about it, but I was SO wrong.
Not only are there hundreds (if not thousands) of articles dedicated to living without Facebook, but here is a glance of searches Google finds related to "how to survive without Facebook."
I initially did a search for just "how to survive" and found this neat little ditty . How to Survive the First 168 Hours After a Break-up. Fair enough. I feel like I've broken up with Facebook, albeit with the understanding that we will have a glorious reunion 59 days from now. The article says the first 24 hours is crucial. "unplug from social media" it suggests. OK. Done. What's next? From 24-48 hours you need to "Alert your Support Network." Ummm...fuck this stupid article. I'M BREAKING UP WITH MY SUPPORT NETWORK!! That article was useless and the author clearly is not down with the struggle. It's real.
All I can say at this point is that I hate this and I want to go back to Facebook SO badly. I know from previous experience, however, that going back to Facebook now is the worst thing I can do BECAUSE I want to so badly. If I had been gone for a day and hardly gave it a second thought then it would seem somehow more appropriate to head on back, but I'm very convinced at this point that I'm doing the right thing. Hopefully by the end of the 60 days I'll be more like this guy...
Unbelievably Zen Dude
"We socialize, but do we fear being alone?Is there something scary in an empty inbox? Are we bored to death without checking Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or Tumblr other social sites?Can we disconnect and face the fear of being by ourselves, without distractions, with nothing but the thing we want to create?Try it for a day: go a day without going to Facebook or any of the other social sites you might traverse on a regular basis...This solitude can be scary (emphasis mine because #thestruggleisreal), but in time we can learn to be our own companion, learn that there’s no better company. That’s a valuable lesson to learn."
In other news:
1) We're making potty training progress with EK....FINALLLLLLY
2) EK told Ben he was her best friend for the first time today
3) EK told daddy today that she was upset and wanted to "talk about it with my words." It's working! It's working!
60 Days Without Facebook
February 4 - 5, 2015
It has been just over 12 hours since I deactivated my Facebook account. There are so many reasons I need to do this. All of them are good, but none of them seem valid at the moment. This may sound pathetic, but making a break from Facebook cold turkey is like getting over the mental aspects of an addiction. Since I woke up this morning at 6am I've reached for my Kindle, laptop and cellphone more times than I can count. Thankfully last night I removed the Facebook app from my phone and Kindle to lessen the temptation.
This is what I've realized in the last 4 hours...
1) I AM addicted to Facebook. Not in a joking "Oh, I'm addicted to chewing gum" or "Oh, I couldn't live without Starbucks" kind of way. This is no joke.
2) I feel completely and utterly isolated from everything. I talk to virtually everyone I know on Facebook. I read funny blogs on Facebook. I read my news on Facebook. I find recipes on Facebook. I talk about my kids and track their milestones and funny antics on Facebook. Virtually the ONLY place I socialize is on Facebook Seriously? Get the hell outta here! No, I'm serious when I say the isolation I have felt in the last 4 hours has been eye-opening
3) I have wanted to update my status at least 5 times today already. I was watching About A Boy (you know, spending my time in valuable ways) and one of the characters on the show is a crunchy mom. She has a neighbor that is constantly making fun of her crunchiness, and to be fair, she is pretty over the top. I love the show. It's lighthearted and cute. Anyway, he heard maracas coming from the apartment next door he said,
"What kind of hippie voodoo is going on in Granola Land today?"
I would've made a status update about that.
I want to talk about Bobbi Kristina Brown. I want to understand. The news surrounding her started days before I deactivated Facebook, but it's been emotional for me to the point that I really just couldn't process the right words to say. I cried for days when Whitney Houston died. I didn't cry because I loved her all that much. Her music is memorable to my generation and she had an amazing talent, but the reason I cried is she died because she was an addict. Addicts dying scare the hell out of me. I can't process it rationally because there is nothing rational about it. I know firsthand unfortunately that there is absolutely nothing rational about addiction. I'm still not ready to talk about her daughter. It's just too much to wrap my head around. I would've probably talked about all of this on Facebook today. I would've posted a status update about how not ready I was to post a status update about it. O.o
I probably would've talked about how miserably I slept last night, and been tempted to tell someone that my daughter peed in the potty for the very first time yesterday. Instead I'm telling these things to myself.
4) I absolutely don't know what to do with myself and I feel pathetic. It's going to be a long 60 days unless I figure out something to do to fill the time. I'll get there, but doing this a week after knee surgery was probably not the best time. to isolate myself from pretty much everyone I normally interact with.
5) These are the things I felt and went through when I stopped drinking.
6) One day at a time...
It has been just over 12 hours since I deactivated my Facebook account. There are so many reasons I need to do this. All of them are good, but none of them seem valid at the moment. This may sound pathetic, but making a break from Facebook cold turkey is like getting over the mental aspects of an addiction. Since I woke up this morning at 6am I've reached for my Kindle, laptop and cellphone more times than I can count. Thankfully last night I removed the Facebook app from my phone and Kindle to lessen the temptation.
This is what I've realized in the last 4 hours...
1) I AM addicted to Facebook. Not in a joking "Oh, I'm addicted to chewing gum" or "Oh, I couldn't live without Starbucks" kind of way. This is no joke.
2) I feel completely and utterly isolated from everything. I talk to virtually everyone I know on Facebook. I read funny blogs on Facebook. I read my news on Facebook. I find recipes on Facebook. I talk about my kids and track their milestones and funny antics on Facebook. Virtually the ONLY place I socialize is on Facebook Seriously? Get the hell outta here! No, I'm serious when I say the isolation I have felt in the last 4 hours has been eye-opening
3) I have wanted to update my status at least 5 times today already. I was watching About A Boy (you know, spending my time in valuable ways) and one of the characters on the show is a crunchy mom. She has a neighbor that is constantly making fun of her crunchiness, and to be fair, she is pretty over the top. I love the show. It's lighthearted and cute. Anyway, he heard maracas coming from the apartment next door he said,
"What kind of hippie voodoo is going on in Granola Land today?"
I would've made a status update about that.
I want to talk about Bobbi Kristina Brown. I want to understand. The news surrounding her started days before I deactivated Facebook, but it's been emotional for me to the point that I really just couldn't process the right words to say. I cried for days when Whitney Houston died. I didn't cry because I loved her all that much. Her music is memorable to my generation and she had an amazing talent, but the reason I cried is she died because she was an addict. Addicts dying scare the hell out of me. I can't process it rationally because there is nothing rational about it. I know firsthand unfortunately that there is absolutely nothing rational about addiction. I'm still not ready to talk about her daughter. It's just too much to wrap my head around. I would've probably talked about all of this on Facebook today. I would've posted a status update about how not ready I was to post a status update about it. O.o
I probably would've talked about how miserably I slept last night, and been tempted to tell someone that my daughter peed in the potty for the very first time yesterday. Instead I'm telling these things to myself.
4) I absolutely don't know what to do with myself and I feel pathetic. It's going to be a long 60 days unless I figure out something to do to fill the time. I'll get there, but doing this a week after knee surgery was probably not the best time. to isolate myself from pretty much everyone I normally interact with.
5) These are the things I felt and went through when I stopped drinking.
6) One day at a time...
Friday, February 28, 2014
Topic Roundup
Ladies and gentlemen, I am opinionated. I think it is important that I
make that known now at the beginning of our time together. I was talking
earlier with Daddy Nev and he asked me what I planned on blogging
about. Hmmm.....everything!!
So, here's a round-up of all the topics you can expect to see from me (I can't be held responsible for the video gaming stuff you see on the other side of the site, LOL).
So, here's a round-up of all the topics you can expect to see from me (I can't be held responsible for the video gaming stuff you see on the other side of the site, LOL).
- Gentle Parenting
- Following instinct
- The CIO (cry-it-out) and WIO (wait-it-out) methods
- Car Seat safety
- Circumcision
- Circumcision regret
- Vaccines
- No-Poo hair care
- Green living
- Homemade cleaning products
- Homemade scrubs/lotions/soaps
- Cooking and recipes for grown-ups and kids
- Strategies for handling picky eaters
- Parenting humor
- Kid crafts
- Product reviews
- Breastfeeding
- Formula Feeding
- Television
- Movies
- Sports
- Hollywood entertainment
- Random rants
- ...and whatever I am forgetting
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